The Beautiful Birth of Baby Mars

I am sitting here with my two week old newborn in my lap. He just nursed to sleep and is in a perfect state of happiness . I know it is time to sit down and write out his beautiful, perfect birth story. I have not wanted to miss any of the details of his story. Everytime I stroke his soft downy head or hold his newly washed wet body I can recall the exact feeling I felt when I held him and touched him for the first time and it takes me right back to that amazing blissful surreal moment that will always be engraved upon my heart.

If I can use some words to describe his birth story it would be a crazy mixture of words like~ AMAZING, CONFUSING, LONG, FAST, PERFECT, INTIMATE, SURREAL, ECSTASY, and REASSURING.

   Going "post-dates" is one of the most emotionally hard things I have ever done. We went all the way to 42 weeks and 2 days gestation. Every other day I would be sobbing and then the next I would be strong in my trust for the process, I felt like a crazy woman and started to believe maybe something was wrong this time and I would have to go to the hospital. Thankfully I followed my instincts, worked through my mental blocks, did a lot of position changes, and let things happen without any outside influence.
   My "labor" started on a Wednesday evening and our new baby did not make his entrance until Saturday evening. It was that long! So here is the detailed story of our accidental unassisted vbac birth of baby Pace number three! ~

Wednesday March 27th, 2013

It all started with the full moon, a beautiful, perfect full moon and slow to start contractions coming every 20 minutes or so. I went about my regular business and visited with my best friend who drove down from Ohio. We took a lovely walk under the moon together going up and down my driveway, and talked about everything and nothing as best friends can do. I had my Midwife appointment that evening as well, and it was just wonderful hearing the baby's heartbeat and getting reassured by her that things we're perfect and normal.

Contractions continued through that evening and through the night. Every 20 minutes, like clockwork. Not hard at all, but noticeable.

Thursday March 28th, 2013 

Had lovely contractions all through the night, up every twenty minutes or so and just breathed through them.
Woke up and made muffins for the family. Regular life commenced, just while working through them now every 15-20 minutes. More family came to town (my mom and sisters!!) We spent the day together. Water situation in the house so I went to their hotel to take a super long hot shower that was lovely!

Here I am, having a contraction while opening gifts. I got pretty good at just managing the sensations. I would not call them painful at this point. They were an intense feeling concentrated in my cervix that felt like a rubber band being pulled open, like it was being pulled open with strong force. It is a really hard sensation to explain, I did not have any contraction tightenings across my stomach at all this time! 

Friday March 29th, 2013 

Contractions still continued 20 minutes apart throughout the night and into the morning. I slept knee to chest and got up every time I could feel one coming and would rock back and forth through it, then sleep in between.

I woke up exhausted. Two nights of little to no sleep, with my body doing some intense work, and I was in a pretty bad mental place this day.

I had a few cry sessions. Couldn't get into my groove and wondered what the heck was wrong with my putsy labor and why wasn't it picking up at all!

Zack, my husband, came home from work and took me to a friends house to shower. It helped refresh me. I went to Target with him to walk and buy a new exercise/birth ball to rock on.

Contractions coming about 10 to 15 minutes apart at this time, but then would take random intervals off. Such a long slow labor, I was trying all I could to get baby's position right, thinking that would kick things into gear once I could do that.

Dinner at an expensive Hibachi Japanese restaurant and contractions were very intense in this public place. I felt the need to be vocal during them and could not! I literally stuck my face in a napkin each contraction and breathed through them trying to let it pass without making a scene! Luckily dinner was delish and went fast. Let me just note that CAR CONTRACTIONS SUCK SO BAD!!! I am so so glad I do not have to do that  on a 30 minute hospital drive! 

Saturday March 30th, 2013 ~ Baby's BIRTHDAY!
Once again I had contractions throughout the evening and night and into the next morning. Unrelentless, but never intensifying up until this point. Last night they came about 8-10 minutes apart finally, and I had to be vocal throughout them. I slept between each sensation and counted down the hours till I could wake my best friend and have her help me get through these. They were finally intense enough that I felt like I could use some support!!! 

I waited until 6 am and I woke my bff up to help me take a bath! I laid on my side and she poured water over my side and back. It felt lovely. I could hear the birds chirping outside and they woke up with the world, and it was just how I pictured it all. I hoped so hard that today would finally be the day I gave birth! 

Had a few contractions in the tub and they felt very intense, and I did not care for them at all. It is hard to rock through them and stay focused when you lay on your side in a small ass tub! SO I got out and we did a few hours in the boys room of just getting through these 7-8 minute apart contractions while the rest of the house woke up. 

I continued like this throughout the day. Leaning on my family and my bff as an intense contraction came. They were about 7 minutes apart still, and not lasting very long. But some of them were INSANELY strong and concentrated, like before, all in my cervix. Like a violent pulling apart feeling, as best as I can describe. I did what I could to stay very relaxed through them, and felt best when leaning on somebody or something through the contractions. 

I had a moment when I looked at the newborn baby clothes and was overwhelmed with emotion. I would meet this baby soon. No matter what, I would be meeting this sweet baby soon and he or she would wear this outfit. I got super emotional and held the clothes against my chest. My bff snapped this pic. It is still early morning here. 

Kicked out all the family, and my bff had to leave for Ohio. Its just Zack and I now! I used a woven wrap to lift my baby and counter-act the heavy feeling in between contractions. It is now around 12 o'clock. 

After enduring a short car ride with hubby to the gas station and changing clothes, I decided to walk in the back yard woods for a while by myself. It was AMAZING. I listened to the wind. Watched the dogs run, and leaned against the trees when a contraction came. Zack was doing yard work and mowing while I was back in the woods by myself. I called my dad and talked to him a little bit to give him updates, and text my Midwife that contractions were about 5 minutes apart, some pretty strong and others not so much. I was just doing my thing enjoying the time alone. So thankful to my mother for taking my older boys to the park and entertaining them so I could have my space. I needed it. 

I had text my good friend/doula Bridget earlier in the day that it was just going to be my husband and me and that I may need the extra back support since I was getting pretty tired. We had planned for her to stop by on her way home from work around 4. 

It is now about 230 or so. 

I started to get a little overwhelmed by some of the contractions and yelled at Zack that he needed to join me. We walked together in the woods, and he snapped a few pics of me. 

This is when my LOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG birth story turns crazy fast!! :) 

Hubby joined me in the woods, like I said and we walked about halfway and things started picking up pretty strongly. We were timing them and it looked like they switched to 3 minutes apart and were staying there now. I started feeling more intense contractions and could not get relaxed through them at all. 

It was about 315 and we decided to head back into the house because I couldn't get comfortable. (looking back now, I know this was when transition was about to hit)

I was getting PISSED off that I was unable to breathe through these contractions and relax. I am a freaking doula, dammit, I know the tricks I should be able to be relaxed right now! But these were beyond me, and I started taking it out on my poor husband. 

Mom, my sisters and my older boys came home about this time and I quickly asked them to leave again as things were getting really serious and I needed to focus. 

400 pm. Bridget, my doula and friend, walks in the door. I start really feeling rectal pressure and have no way to stop it. I am kicking my feet and freaking out a little more because I couldn't NOT push with the pressure. She asks if I had called the Midwife to come, well of course I had been in contact with her, but I did not think things were intense enough yet and had told her not to come just yet. I knew I had this rectal pressure feeling with Asher for 5 hours last time!!! 

She walks with me to my bedroom and I lean over the bed, I have one super strong contraction and I do not fight the rectal pressure this time, I kind of give into it a little bit and I feel the sensation change and move towards the front a little bit. I yelled something like. "Oh, SHIT, yes, yes, please call the Midwife.... I think we should definitely do that now." 

I am moving towards the bathroom now. I am feeling a little insane with the intensity! I cant fight it, my body needs me to push with this pressure!!! I think maybe sitting on the toilet will help, NOPE! I stand up and say (sorry for the TMI) "Zack, I think I am pooping, please come wipe me or something!! "

His response was that was a baby's head bulging and I was not pooping! HOLY SHIT! 

I lean over the side of the tub. 

My hubby is behind me, and Bridget is sitting in the corner snapping away pics, just like I had asked her to. Midwife is not here yet, she lives about 30 minutes away. It is around 445 now or so. 

My body is just pushing on its own, like I always hoped for! I gave into it all and pushed with it. I got to reach down and feel the squishy head as baby was crowning. It was insane to feel myself opening so big! Our bodies are amazing! Within a couple of pushes the head was out! Baby blinked up at Zack with his body still inside of me. I waited until the next contraction and pushed the rest of the body out, right into the loving, strong arms of my husband! He had wanted to catch our baby so bad, and he finally got to do just that!!! 

INSANE emotion flood here! I was overwhelmed by the love I had for my new baby and my husband the baby catcher. I can not believe we just did this all on our own! It was all I ever hoped for and everything I needed. 

This video was taken immediately after Zack caught our baby and placed him in my arms. I am literally overwhelmed with emotion. I am definitely in disbelief and doing some sort of weird cry/laugh thing. I love the raw emotion though, and love being able to re-watch our first moments with our new baby!

We waited a while, after talking with the baby and holding baby. This is the video of us finding out baby's sex! It's a BOY!!!! An awesome third Pace boy.

About 10 minutes, or even less, I am not sure, our wonderful Midwife walked through the door. She saw Zack's face and they all had the biggest grins on their faces. She helped clean me and baby up. Got us situated, assessed blood loss and watched for the placenta (all in the bathroom). After about 25 minutes or so that it took to birth the placenta, we waddled into the bed and snuggled up, and waited for my mom to come back with our older two boys so we could introduce them!!!

The most beautiful thing about this entire birth experience was how normal it all turned out to be. We laid down in our own bed after just having birthed our baby all on our own, and we were just a family with a sweet new member. It was simple and though the process was so so long and it seemed like I would be pregnant forever, I was once again taught that birth NEEDS to be trusted, our bodies have to be respected and our intuition listened to above all other things that society may tell us! I vbac'd my baby all on my own and I will never forget the way I felt, how in LOVE I became with my body, my baby and my husband. 

Introducing....

The newest Pace addition!

Our new sweet squishy baby boy was born at 42 weeks 2 days gestation on March 30, 2013 at 5 pm in the bathroom of our home.

And the announcement everyone has been waiting for... his name! It took us some time. We wanted to get to know him, see what fit him well and let it settle in slowely without rush. So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to:

 

                                                         Marsden Adonis Pace
                                                                    aka baby "Mars"
We love that he can go by Mars when he is younger, it really suits him and is what we had nicknamed him throughout the pregnancy. We really wanted a first name to incorporate Mars in it, in a unique way. Marsden really stuck and fits his wise old soul. Adonis is the handsome greek god  of love and fertility, and he fits right in with his brothers Atlas and Orion. :) So say hello to our new Pace family member. He is awesome! So excited to get to know him better and watch him grow. 

He has the most wrinkly hands and feet.
His head is amazingly soft, I cant stop feeling it.
He drinks milk ALL the time, and just loves to sleep and snuggle!

My next post is going to be more about everything leading up to his birth story! Excited to share his story with everyone, it truly is and was amazing and perfect!!!! 

39 weeks and a poem

Im 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

Lincoln took this amazing picture last week 

Feeling pretty great in general.
The last few days things have definitely shifted. Much more crampy and feeling baby down SO low.
I also have a yucky cold and tooth pain.... thinking my body is working so hard at getting rid of that stuff before kicking into labor gear.
But I am feeling incredibly excited to feel this warm squishy baby in my arms. To introduce him/her to the family and hear the baby's beautiful voice.
I want to see baby toes and baby eyes and whether baby has hair or not.
Yes, I am definitely feeling ready.

This morning I was taking my bath and reading Sacred Pregnancy book, week 39 about giving birth. It talked about how precious and amazing this time is and how important it is to give into that power and just let it wash over you. I read the whole thing with a big grin on my face while baby kicked inside my womb, just knowing this would happen so soon and baby is such a big part of the whole process. But what really got me all kinds of weepy and emotional was the poem. I have to share it with you:

Being Born is Important. by Carl Sandburg

Being born is important
You who have stood at the bedposts
and seen a mother on her high harvest day,
the day of the most golden of harvest moons for her.

You who have seen the new wet child
dried behind the ears,
swaddled in soft fresh garments,
pursing its lips and sending a groping mouth
toward nipples where white milk is ready.

You who have seen this love’s payday
of wild toiling and sweet agonizing.

You know being born is important.
You know that nothing else was ever so important to you.
You understand that the payday of love is so old,
So involved, so traced with circles of the moon,
So cunning with the secrets of the salts of the blood.
It must be older than the moon, older than salt.

Home birth supplies

All right let's see, here is a pic of the majority of birth supplies I have right now.
What is in it:

• Tons of chux pads/doggy peewee pads to put down around the house as needed
• Birth tub liner
• Debris net to clean out floaties from tub. Yes I said it. 
• Sterile gloves
• Gauze sponges
• Surgical lubricant. Though I think olive oil or coconut oil would suffice
• Curtain liner to cover couch (I got PVC free)
• Antiseptic skin cleaner (no idea why I have that??)
• Paper towels
• Drinking water safe hose (50 ft.) for filling Birth Pool in a Box 
• Hand sanitizer (I have EO lavender spray and castile soap wipes)
• Granny panties, like the hospital ones, super big and more comfortable 
• Maxi pads, Heavy duty kind to make frozen postpartum pads with postpartum bath herbs and witch hazel sort of like this: http://www.milkfriendly.com/2012/06/post-partum-care-make-your-own-frozen.html 
• Postpartum bath herbs from my awesome Midwife, and I also have more from LuSa Organics
• Peri bottle (yes!)
• Wishgarden Afterease tincture
• MegaFood Blood Builder for my iron levels after birth 
• Cord clamps 
• Bulb syringe
• Lots of towels, and lots of washclothes
• Bendy straws (for easy drinking in labor)
• Healthy and yummy labor snacks and drinks (water, coconut water, juices, fruits) 

These are just the supplies that I have listed from my midwife to have on hand, or that I thought may be handy from past experience. This does not include the awesome bag of tricks that both my Midwife and my doulas will have on hand. But in the end, really, these are all mostly just precautionary type supplies. Let's let birth unfold without messing with it and see what miraculous things take place!!!! 

What would you add to this list? Is there something you think would be super handy that I have forgotten? 

Excuse my crazy crazy hair and clothes. This is how I roll most of the time these days. 

Hearing our baby's heartbeat

Watch "Baby Pace #3 Heartbeat" on YouTube

I had to record hearing our baby's heartbeat for the first time. It never gets old. That sound is one if the most soothing and comforting sounds in the world and I love it. I wish I had gotten my face too, I was smiling ear to ear. Its wonderful to hear and know your baby is strong and healthy.  The midwife was awesome and our appointment was great. This is the practice I am doing co-care with until I find a midwife to attend my homebirth. :)

Turning my rejection into ACTION.

       So yesterday I called the woman I was hoping to be using as my Midwife for my homebirth. I had heard great things about her, her credentials looked awesome, and she took our insurance! I thought I had things all planned out.
       See in North Carolina midwifery is a little bit different then in Ohio. In Ohio midwifery was a-legal, it was like they didn't care either way, which I prefer. But let me just say this is a SUCKY TIME FOR HOMEBIRTH IN NC! That sounds horrible, but what I mean is North Carolina has deemed it illegal for professional midwives to catch babies, while it is still OK for Nurse Midwives to do homebirths, they are restricted so much that I was told I would be un-able to have my birth with a "legal" nurse midwife, because I am a VBAC client! I have already had a successful vaginal birth after cesarean but I was turned down because of my "risk"!!!
      I couldn't stop crying on the phone and afterwards yesterday. It felt like a smack in the face, how is my cesarean from 2008 still haunting me! I thought I had conquered it!!!! I know I still have options. My husband is reminding me of this, my doula is reminding me of this, and I know it is true. I will figure out how to find, and pay for a CPM that can attend my homebirth although it is "illegal" according to the state. It is just so dumb. I birthed with a CPM last time and I feel very comfortable with their knowledge base, in general.
     So this is where my ACTION comes in to place. I need to raise the money to have my homebirth. Since this is our last child I really feel so strongly the need/desire to birth where I want, in my home with my family. I will find a way to get more doula clients, before this birth. I will find some kind of craft or service to offer people in order to raise the funds. I WILL find a way to birth at home. It is what is important to me, afterall, and they always say "Where there is a will, there is a way."



http://midwifethinking.com/2011/02/23/vbac-making-a-mountain-out-of-a-molehill/
http://vbacfacts.com/hbac/
http://creatingyourcalm.com/call-to-action-nc-midwives-and-homebirth-families-need-your-help/
also this: http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2012/05/24/introducing-the-bwf-birth-fund/ 

We are expecting Baby Pace #3!!!!!!

 

    We are very excited, albeit a little bit nervous, to announce we are expecting a new baby! Things have been so different this time! I am already about 15/16 weeks pregnant, and knew almost immediately that I was pregnant...before it would even show up on a test! It took some time to get used to for ourselves, and then for many different reasons we thought it would be cool to keep it a secret a while longer. Well, THE SECRET IS OUT! Now I am excited to start blogging all about my pregnancy and our journey to welcoming a new baby to this world~
     Here is a little on how everyone is coping with the new changes:

About 12 weeks along! Pouching out a little. :)

 Me~ Well, of course, I am very excited to be pregnant again! You all know I really love pregnancy and birth. But, this time, WHEW I have been sick non-stop and it doesn't show signs of slowing. I started feeling the wonderful baby flutters about two weeks ago and it always gives me this rush of excitement and a warm feeling of love for my baby. I feel encouraged to surround this baby with love and warmth while they grow comfortably inside my belly. I am focusing on staying positive and being around only things that will make me feel calm and loved.  I am most definitely pursuing a HOMEBIRTH again! I could not imagine bringing this baby into this world any other way.

Zack~ He knew. Even before I could tell him the news, Zack knew. :) He has been very nervous this time around and I do not blame him. He (we) are very worried about finances, mostly to fund the birth, as a newborn baby and child really does not cost a lot. But the birth.... well that can really be a lot of money. He was joking around with me tonight about baby names and I think is really warming up and getting more excited. Once the baby is really moving around and responding to his voice inside my belly is when things get a little more real for him.

Lincoln~ This little boy HAS BEEN AMAZING! He is so very excited to have a new baby brother. Of course, we do not know the sex, nor do we plan to find out, but we feel this one is a boy again and Lincoln feels the very same. He from the very beginning has called the baby "Baby Mars" so that has been his/her nickname. Lincoln rubs on my belly and kisses it and he talks to the baby all the time! Its awesome what a difference a few years has made on him. Being 4.5 he will probably remember this birth, and that makes it even more special. Lincoln also is such a big boy helper to me, especially when I am sick, he runs to get my throw up bowl or gum. :) awesome little dude.

Asher~ It's been a rough few weeks for little man. We have him night weaned now, because I really don't want to be full time nursing two! Either the milk tastes different or is not coming in as much but he tries to nurse almost constantly now throughout the day. He knows something is going on, and DOES NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT. He is being extra clingy and wanting to be mommy's baby a little while longer. Poor guy. I think things will get better for him. We are really working on doing more big boy things and hoping that other distractions will prove more fun then hanging on mommy all day.


Well, that's whats been going on in the Pace household this summer! Super exciting!!!!!!! I will be updating more and more about my journey to a NC homebirth and our progress as a family. :)