Weaner

wean  [ween]  Show IPA

verb (used with object)

1.

to accustom (a child or young animal) to food other than itsmother's milk; cause to lose the need to suckle or turn to themother for food.

2.

to withdraw (a person, the affections, one's dependency, etc.)from some object, habit, form of enjoyment, or the like: Theneed to reduce had weaned us from rich desserts.

     It seems like a simple verb, but to wean is so much more than a dictionary description. It is NOT such a simple process. Weaning seemed so easy with Lincoln, it just happened on its own. Asher,who is a week shy of two years old, is still very attached to nursing during this pregnancy and does not show signs of being done at all. Mentally I absolutely do not have a problem with him continuing to nurse during this pregnancy and afterwards until he is ready to wean himself. I love the bonding, I love the nourishment it gives him. It is our special time. Here is a great link to read some FACTS about breastfeeding past infancy and its benefits to mama and toddler: http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

    But nursing during this pregnancy has become something else. When he nurses I get the heebyjeebys. It feels yucky and wrong and hurts so very bad. It is partly because I am so touched-out that I want and need my own space, and also partly because I am completely dried up at this point. I love his snuggles and our bedtime routine but it all has been thrown out the window. He gets so upset that he hurts me and just does not understand why he cant have "milp". I am trying to learn new ways of getting him to sleep without the boob, and getting him to calm down when he is screaming, tired, mad, or just got hurt. My simple solution has always been to just give him the boob before now.

     I can not fully explain why I am so torn between going straight ahead with the weaning process or just pushing through and trying to make it until my milk comes in again. I had this dream of tandem nursing when the new baby comes, and know that Asher will help my engorgement in those first few weeks. I am just so torn on what path to take. For now we are just going with what happens, I am not necessarily weaning and I am not really nursing much either. What would you do if you were in my shoes?