The Home Water Birth of Baby Desmond ~ A Doula's Perspective

     It was around 8:30 am, I had just been up with my sick toddler all night, but the rest of the family was up and ready to go! First instinct, COFFEE! I start heading to the kitchen to attempt such a task and I heard it. THE phone call. The one I have been waiting for, the one for which I had been on call for the past two weeks or so. I always get this incredible feeling deep inside me when I know it is time. It feels like a roller coaster, lovely fun butterflies flutter around in my tummy. I rush outside and call the number back immediately. It is Phil, the super-husband calling to tell me what I knew already, it was time! Quickly, I hang up and promptly call up babysitter to see how fast she can come to my house. After all the phone calls were finished it was time to hurry up and get ready. Doula bag was already packed, and had been for some time. In my bag you will find extra snacks, gum, change of clothes, rice pad, a rebozo and some oils, just to name a few things.

    I just threw on some new clothes, brushed hair and teeth, changed baby and packed his backup things. The exciting thing about getting ready for this birth was that my 4 month old baby would be attending with me! I brought a few carriers so that I could wear him on my back while supporting the mama-to-be/my amazing friend, Tammy.
    After I finished getting ready the babysitter arrived around 9:30 am. I was super rushing at this point, anxious because Tammy had fast labors previously and I wanted to get there to help support her as her Midwife had not yet arrived. I tripped up my stairs in haste to say goodbye to my boys one last time. Left a nice goose-egg and bruise to remember it by. ;)
   Once in the car I did my usual deep breathing and relaxing that I like to do before heading into a birth. I do not want to have an over excited presence with a laboring mama who is usually trying to focus hard. I stopped real quick to get some caffeination and a snack. Played some fun music and drove exceedingly fast to get to her house.
   Pulling up to her house, decided not to park in driveway as I was the first to get there. Brought in baby and took a video of when I walked into the house. This is what I saw:

 

   Tammy was already laboring beautifully, her two girls were very excited, and her husband was running around like crazy doing EVERYTHING he could to get ready. He had three pots of water boiling, and the tub set up, and half way filled with water already! I was incredibly impressed!
As soon as I settled in Phil and the girls hopped in their van and ran over to Tammy's Mum's house to fetch her. She was going to help watch the girls and support Tammy. It was nice and quiet with just Tammy and me in the house. She has some very strong contractions. I sit quietly next to her during it and whisper encouraging words to her. I add another big pot of boiling water to the tub and do a little pressing on Tammy's lower back, but am not sure she was wanting the hands on since she had told me previously that she prefers to labor on her own.
   The next couple hours were beautiful and magical. It is always so amazing to watch a woman persevere through labor. I feel blessed to watch her loved ones interact with her as she moans, sighs, and yells a little bit through the intensity. Her girls are curious. They ask questions, feel the water, they want to help! Her sister sent her an encouraging video, which Phil played while she was in the tub. The Midwife and her assistant are also very encouraging. They take fetal heart tones, record notes, and assure Tammy that all is OK and normal. Phil brought her drinks, put cool rags on her head, and sang songs to her. Watching them together made me teary eyed a few times, you could feel how much he loved her and wanted to help her!
   It feels like a party. A beautiful, peaceful get together in which we are witnessing something miraculous happen! 

   Tammy's contractions get stronger and the tone is more serious. She cant wait to hold her new baby and for the pushing to begin. I continue snapping pics left and right. She looks amazingly beautiful in the water with so much love all around her. I tell her so...and Phil agrees.

 We all encourage her to keep drinking and try to eat something for some energy.At home births you rarely have cervical checks like they do so routinely in the hospital, but Tammy wanted some reassurance, so around 12:45 she asked Midwife to check her. She was about 8 cm, and baby was still a little high up in her pelvis.  I know the water feels like bliss and she does not want to get out. Eventually though the Midwife says what I was thinking... that she should get out for a bit so she can use the bathroom and also so the change of pressure could bring baby down a bit. Tammy slow danced with Phil a little bit after getting out of the tub. He held her tight as she worked through a few strong contractions, encouraging baby Des to move down.

   Then we all followed her into her room down the hall where she laid on her side, and we could all visibly see the contractions get stronger and a little bit longer it seemed. I took Marsden off my back and laid him in the crib next to Tammy. There was an adorable moment where he seemed to be mimicking her sounds, he was just babbling away! I smiled so big!

 Then there was this moment.

   It was in this moment that things changed. This moment is what birth workers just know to listen for, it is when her sounds change. Her roars and moans changed to where she added this liiiiiiitle grunt at the end! OOOOh, I smiled so big when I heard that and looked over at the Midwife, she was also smiling and encouraged Tammy, "That's right! Good job!" Pushing time was near now! I gently reminded her of her desire to give birth in water, and asked if she still wanted that. Tammy said yes, she got through another few strong grunty contractions and we quickly (and I mean she moved very quickly for having a baby so close to being born) back into the other room where the birth tub was set up!
   Super strong contractions are happening frequently now with loud vocals and a little pushing. Phil got his swim trunks on in case he needed to jump in to catch baby.

  

  Tammy called our for her Mum at this point. She became her rock as Tammy worked so hard to push her baby out into the world. This doula had tears again watching them.

   And then I hear that baby is crowning, and I make sure to have video ready to capture the moments of his arrival. Tammy is working so incredibly hard, but she is doing it, and I am so so very proud!

 

 

   Desmond Allen, 7 lbs 13 oz and 20" long, born on August 20th at 1:57 pm into Tammy's loving arms. Her husband helped catch and unravel the baby, her daughters and mother watched on, and everyone felt so ecstatic when she finally held him in her arms.
   And then, after the placenta was delivered, cord was cut and Tammy moved back into her own bed, something else amazing happened.... life went on. Everything seemed so normal, just now there was another little life added to the mix. Two daughters and now a son. Perfect, simple and incredibly beautiful. This is homebirth! I just got to witness a family of four become five. I took my pics, I said some encouraging words, I brought her snacks and drinks, helped talk with her daughters and assure her husband, and then I went home and left them to get acquainted their new beautiful addition.  

I will leave you with this video pics/video slideshow I put together for Tammy and her family. Enjoy!

Introducing....

The newest Pace addition!

Our new sweet squishy baby boy was born at 42 weeks 2 days gestation on March 30, 2013 at 5 pm in the bathroom of our home.

And the announcement everyone has been waiting for... his name! It took us some time. We wanted to get to know him, see what fit him well and let it settle in slowely without rush. So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to:

 

                                                         Marsden Adonis Pace
                                                                    aka baby "Mars"
We love that he can go by Mars when he is younger, it really suits him and is what we had nicknamed him throughout the pregnancy. We really wanted a first name to incorporate Mars in it, in a unique way. Marsden really stuck and fits his wise old soul. Adonis is the handsome greek god  of love and fertility, and he fits right in with his brothers Atlas and Orion. :) So say hello to our new Pace family member. He is awesome! So excited to get to know him better and watch him grow. 

He has the most wrinkly hands and feet.
His head is amazingly soft, I cant stop feeling it.
He drinks milk ALL the time, and just loves to sleep and snuggle!

My next post is going to be more about everything leading up to his birth story! Excited to share his story with everyone, it truly is and was amazing and perfect!!!! 

Home birth supplies

All right let's see, here is a pic of the majority of birth supplies I have right now.
What is in it:

• Tons of chux pads/doggy peewee pads to put down around the house as needed
• Birth tub liner
• Debris net to clean out floaties from tub. Yes I said it. 
• Sterile gloves
• Gauze sponges
• Surgical lubricant. Though I think olive oil or coconut oil would suffice
• Curtain liner to cover couch (I got PVC free)
• Antiseptic skin cleaner (no idea why I have that??)
• Paper towels
• Drinking water safe hose (50 ft.) for filling Birth Pool in a Box 
• Hand sanitizer (I have EO lavender spray and castile soap wipes)
• Granny panties, like the hospital ones, super big and more comfortable 
• Maxi pads, Heavy duty kind to make frozen postpartum pads with postpartum bath herbs and witch hazel sort of like this: http://www.milkfriendly.com/2012/06/post-partum-care-make-your-own-frozen.html 
• Postpartum bath herbs from my awesome Midwife, and I also have more from LuSa Organics
• Peri bottle (yes!)
• Wishgarden Afterease tincture
• MegaFood Blood Builder for my iron levels after birth 
• Cord clamps 
• Bulb syringe
• Lots of towels, and lots of washclothes
• Bendy straws (for easy drinking in labor)
• Healthy and yummy labor snacks and drinks (water, coconut water, juices, fruits) 

These are just the supplies that I have listed from my midwife to have on hand, or that I thought may be handy from past experience. This does not include the awesome bag of tricks that both my Midwife and my doulas will have on hand. But in the end, really, these are all mostly just precautionary type supplies. Let's let birth unfold without messing with it and see what miraculous things take place!!!! 

What would you add to this list? Is there something you think would be super handy that I have forgotten? 

Excuse my crazy crazy hair and clothes. This is how I roll most of the time these days. 

Woah, this is happening.

It is starting to hit home.

We are going to have a new baby here soon. I will be giving birth again soon.

I had my home visit with my Midwife tonight. At some point I started shaking, I knew it was because I realized the proximity of all we were talking about, and to be honest, I am NERVOUS! Im excited, scared, worried, stoked, freaking out and totally feel like a chicken running around with their head cut off. I don't even have all my birth supplies yet, and realized that I should probably jump on that at 36 weeks. It snuck up on me, was I not just 30 weeks???

I didnt get to do all my peaceful birthing hypno tracks, I better start! I have my Blessingway in a week and a half. Also, I still need to get my birth tub! Ok, I will not freak out. I will breath in, slowely. Breathe out and let all my worries float away.

When I close my eyes and picture my upcoming birth I can not help but smile ear to ear. I want to keep that enthusiasm for giving birth and let all the worry melt away.

Cause, WOAH, THIS IS HAPPENING!!!!!

Prenatal visit with the Midwife. Getting belly measured, and Asher nursing at the same time

Mommy's little Midwife helpers

33 week update!

Whew! The final stretch is just around the corner. I may be such an odd person but I want it to SLOW down, I do not want to rush these last few precious, amazing, and sacred weeks I have with baby number 3 growing inside my belly. I am feeling closer than ever bonded to baby, the kicks are so strong and responsive. I will bullet point some tidbits so it is easier to read :

• I close my eyes and can see where baby is positioned and I feel amazingly in tuned to him/her. Baby is head down right now, I am certain I can feel hiccups very low. The back and bum are against my left side and I feel kicks and jabs and movements everywhere. 
• I have started pulling out all the newborn clothes, and getting "new" to us clothes from wonderful friends.
• We also have a pretty nice cloth diaper stash building up for the sweet baby bum. 
• Maternity shirts are a pain and not much looks very good on me, belly is higher this time, but lower too... I cant explain that very well. My belly is stretched out more so its not tight skin round belly that is lower, it is more jiggly ;). Baby is sitting higher up though, which makes my pelvis happy. 
• My gums are bleeding insanely every time I brush. This is not abnormal for me. 
• I dream of taking a bath in some soothing body lotion such as shea butter or something similar. I have these intense dry spots especially on my elbows and knees that I can not fix! 
• I can still reach my feet pretty well, though Zack was so wonderful and painted my toes for me the other day!
• I am starting to feel the dreaded pubis symphysis pain in the front. Its a sharp stretching pain. Im trying to get up with both legs together at the same time to try and minimize it. 
• Lincoln and baby Mars. I do not even need to say more, other than I HAVE to video his amazing conversations to and about the baby. He is incredible. He talks to baby every night, he tells me about baby being born in the water and how he can not wait to hold baby in his arms when he/she grows big enough to be ready. We talk about everything! He is very fascinated with the umbilical cord and how it becomes our belly buttons. 
• Still searching for a comfortable sleeping position. My body pillow does help some. 
• BUBBLE OF PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My doula Chelsea read to me a hypnobirthing script about my bubble of peace and it hit home so hard. I have my protective shield up finally, and am only allowing the positive stories in and shielding away any negativity! 

Turning my rejection into ACTION.

       So yesterday I called the woman I was hoping to be using as my Midwife for my homebirth. I had heard great things about her, her credentials looked awesome, and she took our insurance! I thought I had things all planned out.
       See in North Carolina midwifery is a little bit different then in Ohio. In Ohio midwifery was a-legal, it was like they didn't care either way, which I prefer. But let me just say this is a SUCKY TIME FOR HOMEBIRTH IN NC! That sounds horrible, but what I mean is North Carolina has deemed it illegal for professional midwives to catch babies, while it is still OK for Nurse Midwives to do homebirths, they are restricted so much that I was told I would be un-able to have my birth with a "legal" nurse midwife, because I am a VBAC client! I have already had a successful vaginal birth after cesarean but I was turned down because of my "risk"!!!
      I couldn't stop crying on the phone and afterwards yesterday. It felt like a smack in the face, how is my cesarean from 2008 still haunting me! I thought I had conquered it!!!! I know I still have options. My husband is reminding me of this, my doula is reminding me of this, and I know it is true. I will figure out how to find, and pay for a CPM that can attend my homebirth although it is "illegal" according to the state. It is just so dumb. I birthed with a CPM last time and I feel very comfortable with their knowledge base, in general.
     So this is where my ACTION comes in to place. I need to raise the money to have my homebirth. Since this is our last child I really feel so strongly the need/desire to birth where I want, in my home with my family. I will find a way to get more doula clients, before this birth. I will find some kind of craft or service to offer people in order to raise the funds. I WILL find a way to birth at home. It is what is important to me, afterall, and they always say "Where there is a will, there is a way."



http://midwifethinking.com/2011/02/23/vbac-making-a-mountain-out-of-a-molehill/
http://vbacfacts.com/hbac/
http://creatingyourcalm.com/call-to-action-nc-midwives-and-homebirth-families-need-your-help/
also this: http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2012/05/24/introducing-the-bwf-birth-fund/ 

We are expecting Baby Pace #3!!!!!!

 

    We are very excited, albeit a little bit nervous, to announce we are expecting a new baby! Things have been so different this time! I am already about 15/16 weeks pregnant, and knew almost immediately that I was pregnant...before it would even show up on a test! It took some time to get used to for ourselves, and then for many different reasons we thought it would be cool to keep it a secret a while longer. Well, THE SECRET IS OUT! Now I am excited to start blogging all about my pregnancy and our journey to welcoming a new baby to this world~
     Here is a little on how everyone is coping with the new changes:

About 12 weeks along! Pouching out a little. :)

 Me~ Well, of course, I am very excited to be pregnant again! You all know I really love pregnancy and birth. But, this time, WHEW I have been sick non-stop and it doesn't show signs of slowing. I started feeling the wonderful baby flutters about two weeks ago and it always gives me this rush of excitement and a warm feeling of love for my baby. I feel encouraged to surround this baby with love and warmth while they grow comfortably inside my belly. I am focusing on staying positive and being around only things that will make me feel calm and loved.  I am most definitely pursuing a HOMEBIRTH again! I could not imagine bringing this baby into this world any other way.

Zack~ He knew. Even before I could tell him the news, Zack knew. :) He has been very nervous this time around and I do not blame him. He (we) are very worried about finances, mostly to fund the birth, as a newborn baby and child really does not cost a lot. But the birth.... well that can really be a lot of money. He was joking around with me tonight about baby names and I think is really warming up and getting more excited. Once the baby is really moving around and responding to his voice inside my belly is when things get a little more real for him.

Lincoln~ This little boy HAS BEEN AMAZING! He is so very excited to have a new baby brother. Of course, we do not know the sex, nor do we plan to find out, but we feel this one is a boy again and Lincoln feels the very same. He from the very beginning has called the baby "Baby Mars" so that has been his/her nickname. Lincoln rubs on my belly and kisses it and he talks to the baby all the time! Its awesome what a difference a few years has made on him. Being 4.5 he will probably remember this birth, and that makes it even more special. Lincoln also is such a big boy helper to me, especially when I am sick, he runs to get my throw up bowl or gum. :) awesome little dude.

Asher~ It's been a rough few weeks for little man. We have him night weaned now, because I really don't want to be full time nursing two! Either the milk tastes different or is not coming in as much but he tries to nurse almost constantly now throughout the day. He knows something is going on, and DOES NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT. He is being extra clingy and wanting to be mommy's baby a little while longer. Poor guy. I think things will get better for him. We are really working on doing more big boy things and hoping that other distractions will prove more fun then hanging on mommy all day.


Well, that's whats been going on in the Pace household this summer! Super exciting!!!!!!! I will be updating more and more about my journey to a NC homebirth and our progress as a family. :)