Shameful Admissions #4

I need a man around this house.

Well, not just any man, but my man. My husband. I guess never realized how much help it is to have a man in your life. Since he has been gone I realized I have to mow the lawn, I have to fix the appliances, I have to kill the spiders, I have to be the one to check on the scary noise outside that the dogs are barking at in the middle of the night.... and so many other things that I am just not doing because I am already taking care of a toddler, an infant, and two crazy dogs while attempting to keep the house clean and start the packing for our move.

Whew, I miss having Zack around.

My body

 A silly video of Lincoln blowing raspberries on my tummy.

antithesis


I am large in my skin
I make no apology
This belly grew three babies
Why should it be flat?
It curves with the memory of the womb.
These breasts fed three babies
Why should they be pert?
They swell with the memory of milk.
These hips carried three children
Why should they be slim?
They are full with the memory of life.
My bones are secret under flesh
My skin plump and white and fine
Mine is the face of Botticelli
Mine is the water of the Nile
Mine is the shape of things forbidden
Daughter of Gaia, grown beautiful and wild.

~Lorri Barrier

A poem I found that applies oh so well to me. I love it. I wish I could love myself but I do not know I will ever get to that point. I appreciate the good and the bad and how much my body can do. How many people can say they have grown babies and fed them all with their body. No man, that's for sure, so how can they truly appreciate our bodies like they should be viewed? Most of us are not skinny supermodels with "flawless" skin. We have battle scars; birth scars. I sure as hell would take them all on again for my boys. 


I just wish there was a society that looked at a woman with a body like mine, and so many mothers that I know, and truly truly loved it because.... DAMN, LOOK WHAT THAT BODY CAN/DID  DO! 

while pregnant/in labor

I breast feed. I have now for a total of about 17 months between my two children. I plan to continue for as long as my baby needs.

My breast fed baby is strong now, and healthy. He is getting chunkier and chubbier and growing so well.

I have carried 2 babies, I have stretched and shrunk and stretched and shrunk. I have had a c-section which dramatically changed the shape of my stomach.

This post was inspired by this post: http://www.drmomma.org/2011/05/birthmarks.html

 (I guess it is a good thing not to many ppl read my blog, I am self conscious to post these pictures, but I am doing it because I want to get over it! And just because I am learning to appreciate my body does not mean I am not trying to lose weight, which I am but it is a slow process!!!)

Asher sat up by hisself today. He wobbles and doesnt last super long but its a start.

LA got a new haircut!

Ch-ch-check it out.
                                                  Before

                                                 During

                                                  After

 

 

What do you think? It has taken me awhile to get used to it, but it is starting to really suit him and it looks great. :)

Lincoln-isms

Lincoln: "Mom, Im starting to worry about you."
Me: "Really, and why is that?"
Lincoln: "Well, cause, Im getting old."

Hahahaha makes no sense but it was so grown up and hilarious hearing my almost 3 year old tell me why he was worried about me. All prompted because I was frantically searching the house for something.

Lincoln seems to be missing the concept of potty training. I told him it doesnt count when you poop on the living room floor then pick it up with your hands to put it in the potty! YUCK what a mess that was.

Lincoln took a brush to my hair the other day, and for the first time unprompted he told me: "mommy, your booootiful". ~Heart totally melted. 

He runs around shaking his fist in the air saying, "our battle will be lebendaiwy (ledgendary)" It's from Kung Fu Panda, the best cartoon movie ever.

He pronounces words amazingly and has such great grammar, but all his V's are pronounced as B's and itsthe cutest thing ever: I lub you foreber, be bery bery gentle (with baby Asher), Treber (Sarah's new boyfriend), I neber eat those gumballs, mommy-i hab to go outside and play.

I attempted to give Lincoln some breastmilk in a cup, since we were all sick last month and I wanted to give him some of the good antibodies that come with my milk.... after he drank the whole cup he looked up at me and said, "mom, where did this milk come from?" haha i guess he could taste the difference. :)

 

Lincoln says the other morning, "I yike cimanim rolls, they are yummy and they're tasty"

 

Story of my life

I get it from all sides. The questioning of why I do what I do with my boys. I have my reasons, and really I do not have to explain them to anyone, but I raise my boys based on what I believe is best for them, and what research tells me will help them grow up into their independence. I KNOW I am daily trying to do what is best for my boys. I am learning everyday how to handle the challenges of a toddler who is very determined, strong-willed, fun, adventurous, and o-so lovey. I do believe if I would have practiced more AP principles with Lincoln as a new baby, or even had a different birth, he might be a different person today. Also, its just plain personality. Asher is a super chill, happy, overall amazingly good baby. I have always co-slept with him, breastfeed him exclusively, wear him in my sling alot or just hold him in my arms, and have never let him just cry it out.

I don't know. What do you think? Is it just coincidence that my children's behaviors are so opposite?

You got a friend in me

Lincoln and his bestest friend in the world, Bella!

They have been good friends for almost a year now. He sure is gonna miss seeing her every week when we move! And I am going to miss watching her!