Sunday, September 18, 2011

Reasons I suck at parenting....

 If you go by the books, sometimes I really do just suck at being a parent. Maybe I am just having an off day and needed to vent through this blog post, but I can pin point so many wrong things I do with my parenting its not even funny. Some of them, I will defend. I do not think all of these are necessarily horrible things, but most are common parenting guidelines that are set up that I just do not have for my boys. 

Well, here we go. Try not to hate me after you read this blog post. 
  • I let my kids jump on the bed. (really, why not?) 
  • I have a wild child, I do not reign him in. I let it blossom, and sometimes wonder if that is the worst thing I can do for him.
  • The thing is I am not structured AT ALL. Like no way, totally laissez faire, run free children, type of parenting. I do have some specific guideline for them to follow but find it is hard when not in our own space to stick to these guidelines, and since I struggle with the whole discipline issue I can not seem to get Lincoln to adhere to these guidelines. The biggest one being him running outside with out me knowing and being somewhere at the neighbors house before I even realize!
  • I sometimes laugh when Lincoln gets hurt, like if he was doing something I had just told him was not a very smart choice because he could get hurt then.... boom he gets hurt. I know, malicious, I am not making fun of him, just... well I have no explanation for this one. Just isnt very nice. 
  • Sometimes I dont pay good enough attention to my kids, I have my head stuck in a book or am on stupid fb and realize that the reason the kids are being uber ridiculous is cause....well...I NEED TO BE PAYING BETTER ATTENTION TO THEM. 
  • Sometimes, I use the playground as my babysitter. You gotta realize, I get NO BREAKS AT ALL, from being with my boys. I am not living with my Zack yet, so I get real tired of the constant go go go all day with them, so we go to the playground and while, yes, I am totally paying attention to Lincoln, I also can use this time to chill out and read my book or just relax. 
  • My husband and I disagree on many aspects of our parenting together, which makes things worse. 
  • I encourage my son to jump off the highest ring of the tower he climbed at the playground. While the other moms were freaking out when their kids jumped from halfway up the tower, I saw Lincoln climb to the very top, give me a look like he wanted to jump, and I said go for it!!! I watched him get crazy mad air, and knew yeah there is a chance he could get hurt but this boy has gotta learn not to be afraid and to take chances, and have fun, and if it hurt too much he would not do it again. 
  • I sometimes loose my temper and react to my children with words or actions I should not. I struggle and battle with this everyday, to be the best parent I can be. To figure out just how in the hell I am really supposed to parent. I hear back and forth back and forth about how "Oh, you have to use spanking and time out because it is what gets them in line, and they will not listen to you if you dont do this", and then from others "Never ever spank a child or put them in time out it will affect them for the rest of their life and you will scar them, they will think you dont love them". Honestly battling with myself on these two its like I have multiple personality disorder and I am sure Lincoln is getting whiplash from it trying to figure out how mommy is going to react! 
  • I do not make my kids eat their plates all clean. If he does not wanna eat it then fine, Ill save it for later. 
  • Lincoln loves him some Mcdonalds Chicken nuggets, and I know they are horrible for him, yet I still let him eat there. Shame on me. 
  • During my efforts to get Asher to nap twice everyday I have no idea what to do with Lincoln... so I will put on a netflix movie and he sits in the bed with us. I encourage him to play in the room but he gets bored and runs off into the house without me, and its not ok for him to do this since we are living with other family right now. 
  • I have a temper and am pretty sure I have passed that down to Lincoln, just him watching me react to different situations if he sees me get angry at something its like he mimics me, " UGH, really!!!" I will hear him say a few hours later. Ashamed. At least its not curse words he is getting from me... He picked up a bad one from daddy though! Just from our speaker phone conversations!
  • Sometimes I feel like I am going to loose it and want to grab all my hair and pull it out of my head. Usually this is when both children are hanging on me and grabbing and whining at the same time. I try all I can to be lovey and show them the attention they deserve but sometimes I am just pooped out and want some ME time! 
  • I told Lincoln it was ok for him to pee outside in the woods. I created a monster with that one, yep. 
  • My children do not know the meaning of quiet time, no matter what I try to teach or show them. Especially in the mornings. 
  • I am NOT a clean freak, struggle with keeping a tidy room and have inevitably passed this one down too. We do have clean up time, but Lincoln gets pissed when I start singing that song. ha
  • Ok, noticed almost all these pertain to my oldest, and that in itself should tell you something.  
 Ok, the end for now. Will add more once I can think of them or accidentally add to my list of things I suck at.

I promise I am going to do a post soon of the reasons why I RULE at parenting. LOL. 


  1. Hey there!
    I feel for ya...raising three boys myself hasn't always been easy!!! It's always a learning experience, for sure! You have to do what works best for you and the situation that you are in...and don't be so hard on yourself!! Just remember that you have alot of family and friends that would love to help you out...even if you just need someone to talk to!! :) I wish I lived closer to help you out! I do have to say, though, as someone who works with kids all day long at school...I feel sorry for Lincoln's teachers!!! Good Luck with might want to re-think that "free-reign" thing, though, for their sake!!!
    Love you and God Bless,
    Aunt Pam :)

  2. Oh, I know. At this point, I can not see him in a regular school. He just has so much energy, so much potential he needs one on one interaction and lots and lots of playtime. It is just his personality. Also, like mine, the more I try to confine him or put him in a box, the more he is likely to try everything he can to get out of it. SO I try to do a balance, but like I said, im pretty sucky at it. hah. Also, he is my learning experience, I am learning everyday trying to figure out what works with him and what doesnt.