Doing my "next time" checklist.

I can not even recall all the many times I have heard it said among my mama friends. "If we have another baby, I would love to do ________ next time." or "Next time I plan on doing _____ and ______ differently. " I know I have said these things myself as well quite a few times, but now.... NOW IS MY "NEXT TIME."

So the hard part is trying to remember all those things I would LOVE to plan happen surrounding my pregnancy/birth and babymoon time period. Here is a checklist of sorts of things I desire with all my heart and will strive for achieving with every resource available to me.

• make a birth quilt! I have been drooling over doing this for so long, but need help! I want to have a Blessingway where my close friends bring a special square to add to the quilt, and once baby is born, I can take pics of baby on the quilt every month. Like this: http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2009/04/birth-quilt-in-progress.html  
• have end of pregnancy photo shoot outside with the trees
• belly henna! 
• decorate my birth room! positive sayings, lots of colors, pictures, and candles I am sure my doula friends can help me with this :) 
• stay more active in end of pregnancy, especially stretching and doing my squats
• a peaceful water-birth where HUBBY catches baby before passing baby back through my legs and straight to my chest. (that is, if I give birth hands and knees again) 
• an INTACT perineum aka NO hard pushing for hours, peaceful birthing the baby down and breathing baby out 
• wait to find out the baby's sex, just hold and snuggle my new baby for a while without caring about their sex. Even if any interventions are needed like they were with Asher a little bit, I will stay calm and focused on my baby's face and not be tempted to sneak a peek. :) 
• NO BABY HATTING! http://progressive-parenting.com/2012/04/24/three-things-we-need-to-stop-doing-to-newborns/
• more skin to skin! Anyone who wants to hold the baby within those first few hours or days.... plan to get topless! :) 
• cook lots of meals and freeze them before baby comes 
• lay in bed and snuggle baby for a few weeks with the family. Get to know each other. Be lazy. Take too many pictures. 

I am very absolutely sure there are more things on my list.... hmmm, what am I forgetting? I am sure there will be part 2! Leave your "next times" in the comments! :)

Dear belly o' mine,

 My lovely, jolly, big- ole belly.... How I love you. I love that you grow so big each day and week and make space for the sweet baby inside. I love that we can make more space somehow, though I am astonished at how big you can get. I will cherish forever the things that you have done. As I type this right now, I am resting the computer on top of you, big baby belly. You are not what most would call pretty, by any means, but I look at you with adoration. My, what amazing things this belly has done! I have grown so comfortable with all the markings and love you for your imperfections. And when I have grown so big that the time has come for this lovely new baby to join our world, I will be amazed still and in love with how very round and firm you can get. I vow NOT to take you for granted or wish you away, though you may be a tad bit  cumbersome at times, I know that I will look back with such fond memories of the times you grew LIFE INSIDE OF YOU, and absolutely be astonished and amazed by it every. single. time. 

With all my love, 

     Jess 

My instagram

I have become totallly in love with Instagram. I think it is because I am a picture maniac, but its also so cool to express my life through pictures and look back at them all through the past months. I know I will cherish these tiny moments.

Here is my instagram account: instagram.com/zjlapacefam

Magical Santa Moment

     I took Asher and Lincoln to see Santa this year. We have read some books about Santa and the north pole, and also watched some movies, but I did not understand how much Asher really "got it". Lincoln was/is beyond enthralled with Santa and I guess Asher just picked that up as well.
     It was sunday evening when we went to see Santa with my good friend Chelsea and her littles. All day long I had used it as a bribe for them to be good, "Do you want to see Santa tonight?!" and it worked, they were great through all the shopping we did on Asher's birthday. When we walked into the room with Santa their faces lit up. It was absolutely awesome and they ran right up to the front of the line, thankfully no one else was waiting, and right up to Santa to see him up close. Asher was not the tiniest bit scared. He said "hi. Ash" to introduce himself, and Lincoln was excited to tell Santa about the spiderman webshooter he wants.
    This picture captures the moment when Asher was telling Santa it was his birthday and that he was two! It really was a very special and magical moment. I got very teary eyed seeing the joy in their eyes as they talked to Santa.

             And why not, I do not think there is anything wrong with believing in magical things!!!

Asher's New Milestone

It is two days before Asher turns two years old.

He has reached a new milestone of epic proportions...

He pooped in his diaper and blamed it on the dog. Literally, he pointed to the dog and said, " Abby pooped" with the silliest grin on his face. HAHAHAHA. I love this kid.

Lessons I have Learned, Day 3 of watching 5 boys under 5!

1. Sugar is your enemy, especially in large quantities. LIMIT the kids sugar!!!
2. BUT sugar in your morning coffee is your best friend. 
3. Toddler-aged boys eat like teenagers. Bottomless pits, yall. 
4. Squat with your legs when you clean or pick up the kids. Your back will feel it if you do not.
5. Playtime is absolutely necessary, especially free running outside playtime. Get those energies out boys!
6. Everything is more fun and easier with a SONG! ;) 
7. Stop trying to clean up right behind them all day long. You will go insane. 
8. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back if you get a load of laundry done or do the dishes. 
9. Make some rooms off limits, for your sanity. 
10. Naptime. It is a marvelous thing. 
11. Try and have some consistency to your schedule, try and teach them things with every little activity you do together. Breakfast time- count the cheerios, playtime- animal sounds and colors, etc. 
12. Hugs can fix most anything
13. It is impossible not to smile when 5 little boys are all giggling together 
14. Give extra attention and love to your own kiddos at the end of the day, even if your touched out and do not want to. They crave the special mommy/son time. 

Proud Mommy Moment

Lincoln.

My sweet 4.5 year old still inspires, surprises and amazes me constantly. He has a sweet heart and is so curious to know more about his world right now. I just have to share a special moment I caught him in yesterday that warmed my heart. As I mentioned before I just started watching three other boys in our house and so we have a house full of 5 boys under 5 and boy is that an adventure and a whole other blog post.

At 1 in the afternoon I get all the boys down for nap except for Lincoln who gets his alone time, and I set him up on a movie while the rest of us get some shut eye.

I fell asleep with the other boys and woke up a little later wanting to check on Lincoln and make sure he did not turn on a different movie or something, and was so happily surprised by what I found. Lincoln was not watching a movie at all! He had gotten his preschool workbook and his markers and was tracing letters and coloring! He was very excited to show me the work he had done, and was not paying attention to the movie I had put on for him.

I know it seems like such a small thing but it brought a smile to my face to see my sweet independent boy really doing his own thing. I love this little man. Just had to share my proud mommy moment.

A song for my soul

"Three Little Birds"
Don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing gonna be alright Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Rise up this morning, smile with the rising sun Three little birds pitch by my doorstep Singin' sweet songs of melodies pure and true Sayin', this is my message to you
Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Rise up this morning, smile with the rising sun Three little birds pitch by my doorstep Singin' sweet songs of melodies pure and true Sayin', this is my message to you
Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Singin', don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
**************************
Its helping me get by on hard days and keeps me full of joy.

Weaner

wean  [ween]  Show IPA

verb (used with object)

1.

to accustom (a child or young animal) to food other than itsmother's milk; cause to lose the need to suckle or turn to themother for food.

2.

to withdraw (a person, the affections, one's dependency, etc.)from some object, habit, form of enjoyment, or the like: Theneed to reduce had weaned us from rich desserts.

     It seems like a simple verb, but to wean is so much more than a dictionary description. It is NOT such a simple process. Weaning seemed so easy with Lincoln, it just happened on its own. Asher,who is a week shy of two years old, is still very attached to nursing during this pregnancy and does not show signs of being done at all. Mentally I absolutely do not have a problem with him continuing to nurse during this pregnancy and afterwards until he is ready to wean himself. I love the bonding, I love the nourishment it gives him. It is our special time. Here is a great link to read some FACTS about breastfeeding past infancy and its benefits to mama and toddler: http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

    But nursing during this pregnancy has become something else. When he nurses I get the heebyjeebys. It feels yucky and wrong and hurts so very bad. It is partly because I am so touched-out that I want and need my own space, and also partly because I am completely dried up at this point. I love his snuggles and our bedtime routine but it all has been thrown out the window. He gets so upset that he hurts me and just does not understand why he cant have "milp". I am trying to learn new ways of getting him to sleep without the boob, and getting him to calm down when he is screaming, tired, mad, or just got hurt. My simple solution has always been to just give him the boob before now.

     I can not fully explain why I am so torn between going straight ahead with the weaning process or just pushing through and trying to make it until my milk comes in again. I had this dream of tandem nursing when the new baby comes, and know that Asher will help my engorgement in those first few weeks. I am just so torn on what path to take. For now we are just going with what happens, I am not necessarily weaning and I am not really nursing much either. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Not finding out my baby's sex

      The first thing I always hear is "Oh, I could not do that, I just have to know. I am such a planner."
But my question is what really needs to be planned for a newborn that depends on their sex? Why does it matter so much? So you can put your girls in pink, and your boys in blue? Who cares? The babies absolutely do not care about that stuff, even at 4.5 years old my son does not care about specific colors for boys vs girls or what they are supposed to wear. I am on pregnancy number three and have not found out the sex for any of the babies I have had, and I would not change it for anything.
       Let me tell you about the MOMENT. The first instant I got to see my first born child when he was pulled from my stomach and shown to me. I did not know his sex, and I was waiting with such anticipation to   see what life I had been growing inside of me. I will never forget how BREATHLESS I felt as I waited and they showed him to me, and I saw that I had a little boy. I literally could not breath and felt my whole body swell with this intense powerful emotion that I can only compare to a religious experience. Pure perfection and joy. It was then that I knew I will always wait to find out the sex of my babies. Because that moment made it all worth my wait.
        Making sure that I love my baby no matter of their body parts is important to me. I feel like society, family, and friends pressure me with asking things like, "oh, maybe you will finally have your girl" or something like that. I am tired of hearing it. This baby is awesome and already proves its cool little existence by playing little kick games in my belly and flipping around all the time. I could sit here and scrutinize all the little pregnancy details trying to guess the outcome of baby's gender but I am not going to do that. I am going to revel in the fact that I have a perfect little creature growing inside of me and that I do not need a specific color clothes, cloth diapers or baby swing to be prepared to care for them outside of my womb.

Happy December!

It's the last month till the end of the world, ya know. ;)

Well we are gonna live it just like any other month.
 Keeping busy with a lot of birthday parties, and fun get togethers. I start an almost full time job this monday, watching two maybe three other boys! It will be a full house with lots of energy. I am excited and nervous but I think the boys will love it, as I will be incorporating a more routine schedule and school time throughout the day. I am already getting exhausted after a full day with the ones I have, and I am only 25 weeks. A little caffeine and stretching goes a long way though, and I know this new challenge will be a great learning experience for our whole family.