Prepping for a transition

I am not sure of how typical it is, but both my boys seem to be going through new "phases" as we prepare to welcome this new baby any day. Let me go a little more in depth.

Lincoln-

has recently started this very odd oral fixation thing. Hands in his mouth constantly, biting and sucking on random things here and there. He has never been like this, did not even take a paci for very long as a baby. Now I am constantly asking him to take his fingers out of his mouth, and he is getting red irritated marks around his lips from doing it so often! I know there has to be some "reason" behind the whole thing. It seems very unusual for his age~ almost 5, to start something like this. Thoughts? What can I do other than ask him not to do it?


Asher-

Where can I start with Asher? Things have been really difficult with him lately. He is in this new "NO" phase and while I definitely know this is normal, it is just not in line with his usual personality. He does not and will not listen to me at all lately. He acts insanely defiant and pushes me to the verge of tears almost daily now. This whole thing was just so sudden and I am having a difficult time with holding my patience together dealing with him. Its this whole HUGE struggle to do our daily things like diaper changes, getting dressed or anything thats not his number one priority at that time. This may just be a coincidence that it is coming out right before baby, but it may also be him asking for more attention because he senses all the time I am putting into "baby Mars" already. Whew, I don't know!!!!!

Trust vs. Fear

trust  /trəst/

Noun Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Verb Believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.

Synonyms noun.   confidence - faith - credit - reliance - belief verb.   believe - confide - rely - credit - hope - entrust

vs. 

fear  

/fi(ə)r/

Noun An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Verb Be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening: "farmers fear that they will lose business".

Synonyms noun.   dread - fright - apprehension - funk - awe - alarm verb.   be afraid - dread - apprehend - funk - be afraid of I have been trying to spend a lot of time lately in my Sacred Pregnancy book. There are weekly topics and you do them almost like devotionals, journaling and reflecting on each subject. I have been struggling with fear lately, I know it has a lot to do with being told lots of scary stories as a doula. So I randomly flipped to a week and came to week 22: TRUST, and it was EXACTLY what I needed. Inhale Trust...Exhale Fear... this has become my mantra each night as I fall asleep. I do this little exercise if someone has shared a not so pleasant birth story with me, or if I am feeling particularly stressed. I focus on Inhaling trust, and Exhaling all the fear.  When I breath in trust I envision a strong chain link armor pulling across my body. This armor protects me and gives me strength.  It is impenetrable and unbreakable. I am safe.  TRUST When I exhale fear I think about this gross black smoke cloud emitting from my mouth. I like to think it is all the toxic thoughts and insecurities that nag at me and they are just exiting my body.  FEAR Here is my most favorite quote that I want to write so big and hang in my birth space: "Have confidence that your baby is growing perfectly and that you will be able to deliver your child with ease and in harmony with the universe. " I will!!! I do!!! I am!!!

Woah, this is happening.

It is starting to hit home.

We are going to have a new baby here soon. I will be giving birth again soon.

I had my home visit with my Midwife tonight. At some point I started shaking, I knew it was because I realized the proximity of all we were talking about, and to be honest, I am NERVOUS! Im excited, scared, worried, stoked, freaking out and totally feel like a chicken running around with their head cut off. I don't even have all my birth supplies yet, and realized that I should probably jump on that at 36 weeks. It snuck up on me, was I not just 30 weeks???

I didnt get to do all my peaceful birthing hypno tracks, I better start! I have my Blessingway in a week and a half. Also, I still need to get my birth tub! Ok, I will not freak out. I will breath in, slowely. Breathe out and let all my worries float away.

When I close my eyes and picture my upcoming birth I can not help but smile ear to ear. I want to keep that enthusiasm for giving birth and let all the worry melt away.

Cause, WOAH, THIS IS HAPPENING!!!!!

Prenatal visit with the Midwife. Getting belly measured, and Asher nursing at the same time

Mommy's little Midwife helpers

Shameful Admissions #6

A few days ago I braved taking the boys shopping with me at Aldi's. 

I had one extra boy, whom I was babysitting. SO three lovely little hyper boys total in the little Aldi's grocery store + A 34 week pregnant mama who hasn't gotten to drink her caffeine yet....

and I managed to get all three out of my little car, we are holding hands walking across the parking lot, which is harder to manage then I supposed. And we get to the carts, I am searching through my wallet and bag and guess what I DON'T HAVE A DAMN QUARTER FOR THE SHOPPING CART!!! dimes, nickles, and pennies, yes but those do not help. 

BUT LOOK! Oh, hmmmm... this Chuckie Cheese coin is about the same size, let's see if this works! 

and it does! 

I think all is in the clear, until checkout when I realize, omg, I totally forgot they load your stuff into the cart at the end and give your first one the the person behind you. SO I switch all three boys to the other cart, hoping to load everything up REAL quick before the person behind me gets done and realized she is going to get a chuckie cheese coin instead of a quarter. Yeah, not a proud moment. 

Then back to the car, load up the groceries, load up the kids and realize I am way too far to leave the kids in the car and walk the cart back to the front. I look around for someone to give my cart to, and have no luck. So I abandon it on the litle island.... just in time for this man to pull up and see me, he gives me a stink eye and I just politely smile as I head back to sit in my car and bang my head repeatedly on the steering wheel. 

Also, not even going to go into detail about the small fire that was started at home when I was putting the groceries away and Asher decided to turn the stove on and burn a hole through the bottom of my yogurt, that story is just too embarassing. ;) 

My "Essentials" List For This Pregnancy

or things that have (sometimes literally) saved my butt!

1. My body pillow. Big, super soft and fluffy
2. Morning cup of coffee. Vanilla, please! 
3. Bath time with lavender essential oil in it 
4. Earth Mama Angel Baby Mama Bottom Balm and witch hazel
5. Coconut Oil
6. Candles 
7. Having an awesome sister tribe of empowering women who help every time I get a little bit of doubt or fear creeping into my head 
8. Knowing my body, and more about pregnancy then I ever thought possible. Bleeding gums, ah that's normal for me. I have a pretty good idea on the amount of weight gain that will happen, I am more in tune with when I have had too much sodium or need to drink more water.
9. My lovely Midwife. Leaving prenatal visits feeling super positive and excited about pregnancy and birth. 
10. Awesome birth books, and the ocassional paranormal romance